I swear, you'll be the end of me
by Persie
Summary: Gabriel loves humanity. It will be his downfall. Here's the story of Gabriel's life, starting at the beggining. Eventually Gabriel/Dean pairing but gen for now. Chapters can be read as OS.
1. Just a Story

**Chapter 1** _Just a story_

When he first heard about him, it was only a murmur from his father, nothing more than a bedtime story. Nameless, faceless. Not even born yet. Not for thousands of years. And while he used to be the best listener among his brothers, he was God's chosen messenger after all, the greatest, and listening is essential to the job, that being, that _man_, was only a tool in an event already foretold, one among many. _What you guys call the Apocalypse, I call Sunday dinner!_

Why should he care?

Most of the time, he tells himself he doesn't. And yet the question may as well be "when did he start?"

He remembers listening to his father's tales, he remembers _watching_ the creation of the world, piece by piece. Earth, with the deep mysterious oceans, wild forests and deserts and multitude of beings. Air, fire, water, earth. Everything was beautiful. And then, they came. His father's newly created and already so cherished creation. Humanity. They were perfect. Every single tiny details, in glory and despair, so much potential, could it be good or bad, was fascinating. That much he shared with his father, humans were the most beautiful of all.

Was it then? He told Lucifer he couldn't really see the big deal about them because he saw something terrifying in his brother's eyes and he desperately wanted to appease it. He told Michael to open his eyes to the possibilities and most importantly, to talk to Lucifer, if only that could help. It obviously didn't. It was written and yet, eyes closed to the thought and his brothers' fights, he wished it wasn't.. He told Rafael nothing, because he wouldn't play a part in all this, such as himself, so why bother? And then he remembered the story, it was now happening, at least it will be in the future, no doubt of that. He remembered it all, suddenly feeling something, _pity_? _Compassion_? For the poor lads who will have to do the deed and also for every single human who will experience Heavenly war on Earth.

That when he told himself he didn't have to witness it. Father was gone, and he had a whole world open to billion of possibilities. No need to stay and listen to those two idiots bickering about their egos, their destinies, the end of the human world, blablabla. Why would he when he could just use the time left to enjoy himself? It's not like anyone could and would do something about him. Father was silent, no need of a messenger anyway. So he left.

He was an archangel after all. _Archangel are fierce. They're absolute. They are Heaven's terrifying weapons. _That will do.

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Notes:

Thank you for reading!  
Please don't hesitate to point out mistakes, I'm a non-native writer with no beta. Help and suggestion are always welcome.  
If you have a sense of déjà-vu, I posted this story on archiveorourown first, that might be it!  
Chapter 2 is already written if you're interested. I'll post it in a few days if no one wants it before!

Do I really need to say that I don't own Supernatural, or any of their characters? It seems obvious to me ^^  
You certainly noticed the quotes, they do belong to Castiel and Gabriel, respectively in 4x18 and 5x08


	2. The First Years, Or So

**Chapter 2:******_The first years, or so_

Oh joy! How life on Earth is sweet! And not only because of the cakes and candies (we'll come to this later). See, leaving Heaven was fairly easy, but staying away of their radar was another thing entirely.

He spent years, decades on the run. Even if he wasn't sure someone was actually looking for him after all. Hiding may be a better word for it then. No more family fights also meant no more angel radio, no more obvious angel-type powers to be used. You can never know who's watching. And angels always are. He needed a disguise, keeping a low profile, faking his death, a new identity. And first of all, he needed a vessel. Everything would be easier then, he could blend in, pose as a human.

Not blinding and killing them like he did to that poor poor woman when he first land on Earth. Really, it's not like he wanted to harm her, he just didn't thought about anything apart himself at that time. Don't be fooled, he still does. But it doesn't mean he wants to hurt any human. They're one of the reason he left after all. She was just there, in a white dress that was making her golden skin stand out, in a place you wouldn't think human life had reached. And yet, here she was, in the never-ending desert, alone. Alone she was, and alone she died. If Gabriel had looked in the woman's soul; he would have seen pain, rejection and loneliness but also love, faith and deliverance. So very much human. If he had looked, he may have recognize it as a sign of his own future or maybe not. Who knows? The thing is he didn't really look, torn between indifference and regret at the sight of the woman. He flew away.

The woman would be the first and the last, for a very very long time, to admire Gabriel in his true form, for after this day, he will hunt his vessel bloodline and march among men as one of their own.

At the beginning, he enjoyed himself greatly among men, taking pleasure in everything remotely human. The juicy taste of fresh fruits, the delight of a hot bath, the clothing, the many many pleasure of the flesh, men, women, walking under the sun and stars, witnessing life growing out of apparently nothing, every year the birth of the seasons...

Still, his mind was often taken back to his heavenly home and to the feeling of security, family he didn't have on Earth. Father casted Lucifer down before he left. Way beyond his reach and now he was starting to hear echos of abominable things. He chose to forgot. Was Michael doing good instead of Father? He wondered. What was Michael doing really? Probably being his usual_ righteous_ self. _ Do they miss me?_ He couldn't make his mind about it. He chose to ignore it. What he couldn't ignore was the fact he missed his brothers. All of them. From Michael to the last cherub. Being separate from his family was the hardest. _Who would have thought?_ So he tried to also forget about this, but he knew he would never be able to do it, not completely anyway.

That's when he found himself taken by human companionship. He would always have something, or someone, to distract him. He kept busy that way, blocking the angel radio and all those voices, human voices, who were praying to him, never stopping. Human once believed in divinities, every culture had their own gods, angels but now it was becoming clearer. Humanity was learning. Humans started to become more educated. It was a slow but sure process. And those who weren't yet only had to listen and soon stories traveled even quicker than before. Through the years, decades and centuries, Gabriel would then see passing before his eyes prophets, saviors or messiahs, as his father created it so. He never got involved. Often, he wasn't even present and with the years, he started to slowly, but never totally, detached himself from his Father's words. But he could still hear them pray. _Stop it! Shut up already!_

Soon enough, Gabriel knew he wouldn't stand posing as human forever. He admired them, studied them, toyed with them but never one could catch his attention more than what felt like a second to him. And in the rare case one did, it was he who was witnessing time going too fast. He always ended up alone and bored. _BORING._ Yes, he was an archangel. And a few decades _or is it centuries? _after he landed, he decided to finally start of taking advantage, more than he already did that is, of being who he really was. He had no limits, or very few, and his plan couldn't have arrived at a better moment. That's just when he decided to spice the things up a little bit that he met her. Perfect timing.

_Time to be a god._

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**Notes:** I'm not sure how to add notes on FF. We do have to add them on the chapters, right? Anyway, that's what I'm doing.

Hello again! Hello again! I received two nice comments about the fic. YAY! I'm glad you like it! And thanks!  
I'll say the same thing as before: please, feel free to comment and point out anything you feel worthy of pointing out.  
Also, sorry if you were expecting Dean to show up in this chapter. I still plan for this fic to be a Gabriel/Dean pairing but this is my first story with chapters that I write (and the only other thing I wrote is my barely 340-words long Destiel fic) and I don't really have a plan, except that I feel like telling Gabriel's story first, since he lived much longer than Dean. And I admit I'm also a little afraid to write Dean for now. Actually, I'm a little afraid of writing characters interaction. That's why I'm writing in a 3rd personish style. But Dean will come! And Sam will be there also I guess but I always felt there was more to it, maybe a better understanding between Dean and Gabriel.  
I still don't own anything Supernatural. No quotes from the show on this chapter. If you haven't got it, I don't know if it is clear of not, the lines I emphasized are Gabriel thoughts. I'll stop here with the notes, we wouldn't want them to be bigger than the chapter, would we? (I'll actually try to write bigger chapters in the future) Again, thank you for reading!


	3. The Witness

_**Chapter 3: **__The witness_

He met her by mistake. Almost.

After years walking the Earth, he learned more about them. More about the so-called Gods. The creator of all things was His father, without a doubt. It was what he always knew and will always believe. And here they were, posing and getting adoration from the mortals. The worst, or the best if you asked any of them, was they were actually receiving real powers from their human believers. Were they Gods because they created the humans, or because the humans created them? You won't get an answer here and truly, Gabriel didn't look for one. All he saw was a new way to have fun and truly live up to his own self. He had to make the best of his situation after all, Gods or not, they were here, so why not use them?

The first time Gabriel saw her was on a hot and sweaty afternoon. The sun was making himself feel on his vessel's skin, a sensation Gabriel learned to enjoy greatly with the years. He was working to get the attention of a soldier who just happened to condemned his wife, or was she his mistress, to be used by a merchant as no more than a slave, when he noticed a beautiful dark skinned woman marching toward the girl, who was now on her knees, crying and begging. She sat before her, taking her face in her hands. The crying girl stopped, she put herself on her feet with the help of the newcomer who was now smiling at her and stepped back from her assailant. From the way the woman was standing, Gabriel knew immediately she wasn't human. There was a natural strength emerging from her. She looked calm and determined. No, Gabriel saw in anger and violence in her eyes, which was way more than he could ever wish for. No need to intervene now, he would stay in shadows and observe what was obviously coming next.

The man started to scream at both of them, looking for support in the slave trader. He found none. As if the merchant knew was what coming, he took several steps back until he was totally out of the way. People were starting to stare and all seemed frozen. Dozen and dozen of curious pairs of eyes were now looking at the foolish man and the two women, almost forming a circle.

Gabriel didn't lose any second to think. If the woman was who he thought she was, all he could see were everything he could gain out of it. He needed to think fast and act fast. He couldn't lose an opportunity to meet her. It is clear he couldn't present himself as an archangel, and it's been years since he posed in his true nature. Gabriel was fairly sure she couldn't recognize what he was, but only a direct contact would ensure it. But he also couldn't pose as a human, it would be useless. No, he would have to play their game and for that, he'd have to chose who to be. A greek god? He could pose as Baccus, or maybe Apollo? Nah, he didn't like those guys very much. Horus? Osiris? He couldn't really pose as an Egyptian God, could he? _Too much work, not enough fun that lot._ No, he needed a believable back story. What was left? Gods of the Olde Norse could do it. He probably could be Thor. He should be able to find the Hammer of Legends to complete his role. Yes, Thor could be nice. But he couldn't help to imagine his brother Michael instead. He never was the golden boy, nor the perfect son after all. Freyr maybe? No, he was no farmer and didn't intend to farm anything if he could avoid it, and he could, ever. Why bother?

While having ideas by the second, he never stopped watching the scene. The poor girl was now standing a little behind the well adjusted woman. She now had a determination showing in her whole body, probably coming from her savior. The black woman, who was wearing a red ceremonial dress continued to stare at the man, who was now fuming but somewhat keeping it quiet. And then she talked.

"Are you willing to offer yourself to do the task you sold your woman for, man? Talk" she said in a strong voice. No one was moving. "speak now or I reap out your tongue" she added, after obtaining no answer from the now less than proud man.

"and why should I answer you? This is no matter to you, woman. I do as I please with my belongings" he still manage to add, in a surge of stupidity.

"I decide what is of my concern and you're a fool if you think otherwise. You are nothing but a coward who doesn't deserve the life he has been offered and I am here to rectify this mistake" the woman in red answered.

"Stupid female, you have no rig..." the man started choking, unable to continue. With horror he saw he was choking blood and wasn't able to stop. The woman looked down at him, even if the dying man was at least a head taller than her. "you'll learn that life has a price and I am the owner. Death is my work and I decide who lives and who dies on my watch". The man collapsed on the floor, chocking more and more blood by the minute. The woman turned from him to the girl she rescued. That girl showed no signs of regrets at the sight of the man now dying at her feet and was watching the Goddess - because yes, the woman in red was definitively a goddess - with expectation, while the rest of the crowd was now faking to ignore the scene.

Gabriel's assumption just proved to be right, and he needed to move, fast. He finally decided to chose a persona much more fun than Thor or Odin. Someone way much closer to his true-self it would be easier to compose, someone with powers he could easily imitate with his own. The powers would fit him perfectly and become stronger and stronger with the time passing. Yes, it was perfect. It would even be easier on his mind to pose as a demi-god instead of a God in full rights. Yes, semantics but it felt more comfortable. His father was God and he was only the son. Happy with his choice, he stepped out the shadows, marching casually towards the two women. He stopped before them and said.

"what a scene you made here, beautiful Kali. I admire your style. I have a room nearby, maybe we could all go relax there and talk." The Goddess was evaluating him when he added "oh, let me introduced myself, I'm Loki" he added with a brilliant smile. He was quite the charmer after all, and even a Goddess couldn't resist.

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Here ends chapter 3. Sorry for the delay. I'll try to post more regularly if I can.

Next chapter, may or may not be with Kali, because I'm not sure I want to write their story. I would like to introduce Dean sooner than later and if I start writing Gabriel playing Loki, it may never end. Let me know if you want it or not. In any case, I can add it in later chapters.

Thanks for reading! Please, review!


	4. Notes on Humanity

**Chapter 4: **_Notes on humanity_

Looking back, Gabriel knew he made the right choice impersonating the Trickster God. It was as if he was destined to play the part and maybe he was.

He wouldn't tell anybody, but he was so good at it that he even lost himself in his God-like persona he forgot who he really was. It didn't last. It never did. No more than a millisecond in the eternity that was Gabriel's life.

And still, this one single moment, when he forgot his true-self, his family, his other family, the first, the one that really mattered at the end, or so he thought at he time, is what told him it was time. Time to leave those pagan Gods with whose he was having so much fun. Oh! He wouldn't leave then completely, he only had to avoid the more permanent contact he had now. Especially with his very talented, so so very talented and feisty, several handed Goddess.

He needed to distance himself. A few centuries had passed, quicker than flies die, or so it seemed. Humans, his precious humans he had almost put aside for a time, _too long_, he wanted to go back to them. He wanted to have a more close up look to the ever changing babies of the family. Humanity had changed, mutated to a better representation of itself. Humans were more sophisticated , brighter, stronger. They still tore each other apart, of course, some things would never change. Still, from the pre-historical period to the Machine Age, Daddy's new children became for fascinating. Gabriel saw them for what they were, survivors. They took a look at their environment and melt it into their liking, with the very few instruments they had in their favor. Gabriel saw cities, Kingdoms, Empire come and go and while the first arrived wasn't always the one still standing at the end, there were always humans to stand up and built and rebuilt.

I remembered the time he spent as a Viking warrior, it was the closest he ever came to the battle he used to fight as an archangel. But they explored and expanded. He never fought in real battle after that but he keep fond memories of the Middle Ages, when men were still dark, violent and boorish. That being said, he was happy human started to act more a less more civilized and he enjoyed the European Renaissance and the Modern Ages very much. All those lovely ladies in dresses, he wondered how a human body could actually support the weight, and pretentious men parading in Court and salons when the little people were starving. This is the beauty of humanity. In all their glory and decadence, Gabriel was watching.

With the years, men and women had acquired a longer lifetime. Still insignificant for an angel, to whom they'll always past away too soon, but they also got more skills and more importantly, more taste for the finest things in life. One talent he appreciated the most was the food. Always have the best cook in his pocket and his palate exploded of pleasure under the bitter sweet taste of chocolate or a delicious fruity pastry. And the more time went by, the more humans decided they also wanted to eat better things, not by necessity but by envy. Gone the times were all the sweetest things were kept for Kings and Queens. Entering the 18th century, by the western civilisation human calendar, people achieved a real Revolution of their own in terms of techniques.

It was the beginning of a brighter future for humankind and yet, their downfall will come without possibilities to stop it, no matter how far their technologies were advancing. Myths and legends, creatures of the night and progenies of Hell were everywhere, slowly working to the end of the world. The humans - oblivious to the Darkness and destruction upon them - would only pay the price.

Gabriel, true to himself, old and new, wanted to take pleasure in life but he was no idiot. He knew big things were approaching and that the time to meet his brothers again would be upon him soon. He would obviously do everything to avoid it, _what a bunch of angelic losers_, but also pondered if when the time will come, he'll truly be able to stay away.

After staying off angel radar for a long long time, he came across several of his brothers among the years. Oh, he always stayed in the shadows, too clever to get caught but he was always somewhat relieved when he would get to observe one of his sisters guiding a particularly reluctant vessel to say yes to her, or a brother doing whatever business he was sent to do. He could also feel the others sometimes. The one watching over Earth, those who didn't interfered, _yet_, standing as silent guardians to humans from their heavenly home, not quite ready or willing to walk among humans but always acted on Father's orders.

As we established before, Gabriel wasn't a fool. So when the angels became more active, he knew what he dreaded was coming and he would play that one from the bleachers. He didn't left all those years ago to finally bite the dust, as he was pretty sure that would happen one way or another, taking part in something bigger than him. He had no reasons to do so. _I just want it to be over_. The only thing he could do was watching the strings being pulled, demons and angels both at play. Pretend enemies marching toward the same goals. Humans in the middle. _Pathetic_. But what could he do? Nothing but satisfying his curiosity when the time come.

But in the meantime, he played with the bad bad boys of the human population and punished them in the most entertaining manners he could think of. Not only to entertain himself but also the humans. The most mannered of them would try to deny it but they will always love a good story, even with death and blood in it. And wasn't he the best at it? He had style, and humans were always sensitive to it. Yes, it was definitively fun.

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fan6775654454545: Really, I think Gabriel lost his human v-card way before meeting Kali! and no Kali in these chapter but I keep the idea in mind for later. Thanks for reviewing!

jokergirl94: Still no Dean in this chapter...Oops! he's coming soon, I swear ^^

I try to reference the other Supernatural characters as much as I can. It's very light, I know but can you tell? Or is it way too vague?

azfazfzf writing is hard! I thought writing for already existing characters would be easier, but I have doubts now. I try to stay away from OOCness as much as possible, but I haven't even really written dialogues much. I'm both stressed out and excited by future Gabriel/Dean interaction. I'm also trying to find a way to stay close to canon but including more Gabriel/Dean...pfffioouu!

Anyway, sorry for rambling, and thanks for reading!


	5. Free Will

**Chapter 5** _Free Will_

_Just a little peak_ and he'll be on his way. That's how all started really. And even if you'd ask him now he is, _well...let's say indisposed_, Gabriel would tell you he regrets nothing. Almost nothing anyway. Was it destiny?

After everything that happened, Gabriel liked to believe he made his own choices, for his own personal, entirely selfish reasons. His father couldn't have plan this, right? No. For reasons he cannot really explain, Gabriel couldn't bear the idea all his actions has been predicted. Not anymore. Not with _Him_. When he come to think about it, and that's all he has to do now really, all those beautiful, strong, sometimes violent and always tainted with love emotions are his. Entirely his. No one, not even his brothers, not even his Father, could take that away from him.

Sometimes, it also scares him. To be so, dares he say it, _free_.

He first witnessed it in his own younger brother. In small touches, but it was definitely there, and should he really be surprise that He was the cause of it? _Of course not. _

Gabriel always considered himself as a free thinker. A wild card that didn't answer to anybody anymore and yet he had to admit that at the very beginning of this, _this_ being the most important story he would ever care and want to live, he still believed in Heaven's conception of everything that was. Even as he experienced more human pleasures, horrors, beauties and cakes than any of his brothers and sisters did before him. Even embracing humanity at its fullest for the millenniums he spent cut from Heaven, he never came to challenge it as much and as quickly as his little bro Castiel did. Not even after Their first encounter, Gabriel would so reluctantly admit in very few circumstances that had yet to be seen.

Castiel was the first, in his own peculiar way, to be met with the first real gem of doubt. All because, no – _thanks -_, to Him. Of that Gabriel was jealous. He would never have Him entirely because Gabriel was not there at the beginning. He only had a few, so very short moments, the very best, to enjoy while the others had plenty. Before and always was Sam, a few other humans, and a-more-profound-bond-baby-bro Castiel to surprisingly represent Heaven at His side. As annoying as they all may be, Gabriel wouldn't have it any other way though. They weren't _that_ bad, and it was an absolute delight to play with them. And really, one has the right to get a little annoyed, right? Not even able to claim the whole Free Will business as his own. Beaten to it by a no-fun-all-stary-face little brother - and a long lost sister he has been told. But he did came around eventually and that's all that matters in the end. So very few did.

At the end of the day, or newly found Gabriel's eternity, the answer of how much his Father knew with certainty remains a mystery to Gabriel. Yet, he does not believe Father capable of such cruelty to make His angel sons and daughters beloved humanity guardians, letting them admire, protect and cherish humans' fragile existence made so strong by Free Will to deny the access to his winged children at the end. It's true that most, if not almost every single one of Gabriel's brothers and sisters don't share the interest Gabriel, Anna or Castiel demonstrate in those tiny humans – not counting the Cherub community, the hippies of the lot – but the possibility is there.

And _that_ was maybe the plan all along.

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Hello hello guys! I'm so very sorry it took me so long to write and post this new (and short!) chapter.

If some of you were waiting on the story I apologize strongly. Believe me I didn't forget about the story for all those months but I couldn't get to it. I always promised myself I would never do that and here I am... From now on, I promise regular update. At least once a week!

I have no idea how many chapters I plan to write but I know I'm far from done. We didn't even see Dean! I promise he's coming. I was first supposed to introduce him here in the chapter above but the story took me another way. However, he does get heavy mentioning.

I hope the use of capital letters are well fullfilling its purpose here when Gabriel thinks about Him (Dean) and that it's still clear for you guys, as I also use the capital letters when talking about God.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the treat and hope to hear from you to tell me what you think of the chapter and the fic in general! Thanks! See you SOON, Pinky Promise!


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